Poison and Wine

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE The Civil Wars. Maybe you're familiar with them, too. If that's the case, then you already understand the title of this post, if you don't than allow me to explain...  Poison and Wine is the title of one of their more popular hits. It is very much a song of knowing what you're worth and what you need to do, despite how you may feel or what you may want. The chorus sings, "I don't love you, but I always will." For me, this song is not about a friend, or my boyfriend, or even my family, but about my battle with my emotions. I suffer from feelthingstoomuchtoodeepitis. Maybe you suffer from this, as well. What is it? Instability of emotions. Uncontrollable feelings. When someone is just a little upset, I am livid. When most people are sad, I am devastated. And something most people wouldn't pout over, you can probably find me sobbing about. -- this is my biggest curse, and yet also a blessing. 

I don't love you, but I always will. 

I don't love that this is a problem for me, but I will also always be thankful. Because on the opposite side of this, something you may find pretty cool, I find the be absolutely thrilling. And what may make you smile, makes me heart literally beat happiness. Unfortunately, my life is not all smiles and happiness and sunshine, and way too often I am letting the petty problems and people (even strangers) in my life run me over and cause me to feel so deeply. 

What's my point in all this? If this is a problem for you, I pray for you. I know what it feels like to be up early hours crying about something ridiculous, or dreading going to sleep because you don't want your happiness to end. I pray you can find a peace in your life and I pray for stability for you. I know, from personal experience, that having feelings so deep is overwhelming. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't think. It's stressful stuff. 

But there is Hope.

No matter what I may be feeling, I am thankful for a Savior that died for all my sin and shame. And a Lord that looks down upon me, no matter what I may be feelings and says, "I love you, Child. Things will be better, in My time." I must learn to trust in God's timing and have faith in His ability to bring peace.

Do you suffer? Do you spend (too many) hours upset about things beyond your control? Angry at things you can't change? Believe me, I've been there.  

Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace. - Psalm 37:37

There will be a day when the burdens of the World can no longer harm me and you. 

I encourage you to listen to te song. I'll leave a link at the bottom of this post. As you listen use that time to reflect on things in your life that are causing you to hurt and figure out ways to eliminate them. 

And for the one person who may stumble across this post, I hope something I've said encourages you and sheds light on your life. 

-- Olivia 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WfzRlcnq_c0 -- Poison and Wine: The Civil Wars